Monday, May 09, 2011

Good Bye Visit

This was a Facebook post I put up last night from my phone and tried to put it here, but my phone is disabled for this.  So, this is redundant, but I wanted to put it here too for our journal when we print it.  Thanks for your prayers.

Good Bye Visit

Doesn't that title hurt your heart? Any visit to say good bye is hard. We've heard this term a lot lately. We've kept it mostly to ourselves, but now really covet the prayers of our friends and family so I thought we'd share this with all.
Today we will be doing one of the hardest things we've ever done. Something I've shoved to the back of my mind for 9 1/2 months. We are taking our dear foster babies to see their mom and dad.....for what is most likely their last time (at least possibly for many years).
After 2 years of foster care, their parents' rights were terminated in court last week. They will have their Good Bye visit today. They are not aware of this.

This is breaking our hearts for these children. Yes, it is a good thing-their parents have made and continue to make awful choices. They are not able to raise them. We agree and are very happy that now the children will be able to move forward to permanancy. So, it is a necessary process. However, the children won't understand all of that-not today or even soon- and we want to protect their hearts so bad.

The oldest, 6, asked if she could wear her Easter dress to her visit to look pretty for her mom and dad. I can't help but picture her running into her visit, excited to show off her dress-not having any idea what is about to take place. I imagine her sitting there in her beautiful, pink dress and her 'high heels' (her shiny white church shoes with the 1/2 inch heel) listening to her parents explain how they can't take care of her and must say good bye.

I imagine these 3 babies ages 6, 3 and 2 looking at their parents holding another baby, 1, that they currently have custody of and will get to keep. Why does she get to go with them? Will they ever see her again?

Will our 6 yr old cry? Will she understand? Will she hold onto her parents and have to be torn away kicking and screaming? Or will it be a non event? Will she be happy to come back to our arms and go 'home'?

The precious baby boy, 2. That darling boy hugging their necks, saying bye and blowing kisses (which he learned at our home-thanks to much prompting from Tracey :). Those beautiful, sparkly, grinning eyes seeing his parents for the last time. Thankfully, he won't understand and probably won't remember this.

The 3 year old that suffers from attachment issues because of being moved through 5 different foster homes--running and playing without a care. Not grasping even a tiny bit of the magnitude of what is taking place.

We ache for them. We could have sent them via transportation, but felt that was cruel and couldn't even imagine it. We want to be there for them when they come out. To hold them.

Please pray for these children. For their hearts to be kept open where we are still able to reach them. Please pray for all of our safety during this visit. The case worker is not concerned, but I can imagine what I would want to do if someone were trying to take my children away.

Please pray for our health and for our own hearts and those of our own children as we have to make the decision to adopt them or say good bye to them ourselves someday. It's just so much right now. We have worried a lot lately. My blood pressure has been very high (for me). We're trying to manage it without medication but this is a huge concern right now. We are praying for God's Grace and protection to move us through this process. Thank you all for your prayers!
"When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up."
Psalm 27:10


Always an Adventure said...

I guess this visit already happened? Praying for love and peace to abound in your home. Love you guys!

Our Army of Six said...

Yes, yesterday. I updated on my FB, but not here yet. It was strange and not at all like we expected, but the kids walked away from it fine. No emotional outbursts from them or the parents. I think Andy and I were more emotional than anybody. And the oldest sat and visited with me a lot last night after the other kids all went to bed. I think she's going to be okay--well, we KNOW she will with God's help, but I think she's handling it really well.